


vows and brothers

by vorpatrils



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Canon Compliant, Family, Family Dynamics, Pro-Catelyn, no needless catelyn bashing here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 18:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5426504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vorpatrils/pseuds/vorpatrils
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An incident prompts Catelyn to think on Jon Snow and his place within Winterfell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	vows and brothers

The bastard was sniffling. Robb's bottom lip was beginning to wobble as well. Catelyn sighed internally. She was glad she had removed the three of them to her bedchamber. Her pregnancy had left her close to hysterics and she had sat still in silence to calm herself. Her stony silence still cowed her son from arguments for now. She said a small prayer of thanks that it still did so.

When Catelyn had seen her son jump his horse over a pole a head taller than himself when standing she had near fainted in shock. With Eddard away fighting the Greyjoys she had the rule of Winterfell and it would not do for her people to see her scream at her son in front of all and sundry. She was having a rotten time with her latest pregnancy and Sansa's tears over her father's absence. Catelyn was perilously close to tears herself as she sat at her dressing table. To think of her husband returning to find one of his sons dead - _his only trueborn son, his heir, my first son, my only son_ she thought desperately - was unthinkable. _Gods willing this one will be another boy_ she thought while she placed a hand on her belly. Robb was six and still he had no brother. She loved Sansa dearly and with all her heart of course, but she  _needed_ to give Eddard another son. He was the last man of House Stark now that Benjen was away at the Wall. Gods she would set herself to weeping to think about Benjen. Or raging.  _What man  would leave the sum total of his house a man and a babe? He is a fool._ But she had come to like Benjen, however much it went against her Tully upbringing that he had departed to spend his days at the Wall than help replenish House Stark's ranks. She gave a sniffle.  _It wasn't fair of him. Not in the least. He might have had a few sons of his own and eased my burden._ Robb looked at her worried now and his lip wobbled more. He never liked it when she seemed sad, the darling boy.

If either started crying the other would join him. She took a deep breath. “You do understand that I'm not angry at you, don't you love? I was only very worried when you jumped.”

Robb nodded. “Yes mama. But Jon-” Catelyn clenched her jaw. “Is bigger and a better rider than you are my son. At least for now.” It was weak and petty of her she knew, but she did hope Robb would grow at the same rate the other boy did sometimes. But the bastard grew faster than her own son and it rankled her pride as did admitting the boy’s superior skill. She sighed and took one of Robb’s hands. “Come now. Will you promise me not to jump again?” Robb wrinkled his brow. “Can Jon still jump? It’s not fair if he can. Father says a lady must always be fair. And he says you're the fairest of all.” A blush came to her cheeks. “That is his own choice. I am not his mother.” Robb looked eagerly to his playmate. He nodded. “Of course I won’t! It's not fair.” Robb looked back at her, determination on his face. “Should I swear properly? Like a knight?”

Catelyn cursed herself. She had begun telling Sansa stories of the great knights of her house when she had moved from crib to bed to make more room in the nursery for the babe she now carried. Robb had overheard her and begged to stay, which she allowed, hating the feeling of her only sons disappointment. He had since asked her endlessly of knights and their valour and had even insisted he would be a great knight some day. It had been sweet to see him play with Sansa at first, pretending to save her from the beasts underneath her new bed.

But it had persisted and some of her lord husband’s vassals had commented on it when they had gathered at Winterfell to fight off the Greyjoys. Some of the coastal banner men had brought their daughters and younger sons to seek protection at Winterfell and Catelyn had gladly offered the children the protection of her hearth and home. Eddard had approved of that tremendously. She and Eddard had been watching Robb and his banner men’s sons at play when of Lord Umber’s sons had come to her upset that Robb had claimed only he and one of Lord Forrester’s sons could play at being knights as their lady mothers were southron.

Eddard had given her a weary look of reproach before explaining that the north had no need for avowed and anointed knights, only brave and true hearted warriors. Childishly, she had wanted nothing more than to kick his shins at the time. She may only only be four and twenty, mother of two, but she had raised her brother since he was a babe and would wager all her fine gowns she knew more of raising children than her husband. That had been shortly before she had discovered her latest pregnancy though, so Caelyn preferred to think if it as addled wits rather than her own pride. A thought occurred.

She nodded. “Swear it like a true Northman my son. Knights vows are all well and good but you are a trueborn son of House Stark, blood of the noble Kings of Winter!” Robb froze. “But I don't know how mama.” Catelyn cast her mind back in a brief panic. How did a Northman swear?. She and Robb had seen his father's banner men renew their vows before they departed. _By ice and fire, iron and bronze._ She turned to her dressing table with a  little difficulty and snatched up a bronze candlestick. The base was a solid piece of iron, if she remembered correctly. Perhaps Robb would take this vow seriously. She thought a moment. Robb and the bastard did near everything together. “You too boy.” she said, waving at  the bastard to come forth and place a hand on the candlestick she held as Robb did. They both went to their knees in front of her. She suppressed a smile. It was a sweet scene, Robb eager to prove his honour. She pinched his cheek softly. Northmen did not grin as they made their vows.

“Do you swear not to jump your horses? On ice and fire, iron and bronze?” Robb nodded solemnly. “I swear my lady.” She looked into the bastard’s eyes, so like her husband's. “I swear Lady Stark.” She smiled at Robb and kissed his brow as he rose, sweeping a curl of auburn hair behind his ear. “Very good my son.” She glanced at the bastard. She had seen him mock Robb over her kisses once or twice and she would not have him ruin this. Her pregnancy exhausted her and she had little patience for him today. His eyes were not mocking. They were...sad.

Her heart gave a pang. She had seen the same look on Edmure’s face once or twice. Though even then he had sisters to comfort him. “You do credit to your lord father”. Catelyn said simply. “He would be proud you swore so.” He looked at her, surprised. She was not cruel to him but she rarely sought him out to speak to him, even then usually to scold him and Robb together. “Th-thank you my lady.” He bowed his head. Such a solemn boy.

When she had first come to Winterfell she had been outraged by the boys presence. Eddard had refused to speak of him but to claim him as his own. Catelyn had felt a small pity for the boy then. Most like his mother had died in childbirth. A terrible way to die and a shameful one besides, considering her child was a bastard. But she had childishly hoped that Eddard was as noble as a knight from any song and that he had sworn that the boy would be looked after out of his own noble soul. He had, she came to know, and to such a point that he would raise him alongside their own trueborn son.

Her husband's noble soul evidently loved this woman so that he would not betray her memory by speaking her name to the woman he was forced to wed. Had he loved that woman, held her before they had ever met? Did she lurk now in her father's castle, swearing her vengeance on the southron usurper? Then she had heard Ashara Dayne’s name and she still shuddered at the memory of her husband's anger.

All her pity had dried up then and replaced itself with fear. She could not let her husband's bastard into her heart or her son's she had decided. But Eddard had refused to separate them, claiming that it would make it easier for his bastards wetnurse to manage both boys when she was too exhausted to nurse herself. She had conceded that point and focused instead on learning how to rule Winterfell at her husband's side. But when the boy had been weaned. Catelyn had insisted the nurse leave, though not without securing her employment elsewhere first. She would not have the woman claim that she was cruel or prideful to her next lady. Eddard had resisted her efforts to have them raised apart. "They are brothers." he insisted. Even when she had wept and told him of fears, reminded him of the bastards that had plagued the Targaryens and the realm for a century he would not hear a word of it. He had shouted at her again when she reminded him of the Stark, Tully and Northern lives lost to armies raised by Targaryen bastards. He had refused to hear a word of it since, but perhaps when he beheld this new babe - _a son Gods let it be a son_ - he would place her higher in his esteem, heed her words more closely on the subject **.**

Catelyn had no wish for the bastard to return, whenever he left and she would not have any woman raise him up, to love him with a mother's affection. Such a woman might give her husband excuses not to send him away and the bastard cause to visit, might encourage others in love and loyalty. She had considered encouraging the boy to play with the children she minded. One of their lord fathers might consider fostering him in a year or two. The coast was far enough away that he would not influence his brother unduly but close enough to have an eye kept on him. It would be a kindness. _Eddard coddles him. He should learn how others perceive a bastard early on, so it does not come as a shock when he is a young man._

But now, all that seemed cruel. He had no one to pretend at being his mother and his father was gone. Perhaps if the child she carried was a boy she might reconsider. She would feel that Robb was safer with another brother. Two sons to take their place in Winterfell’s succession rather than one and his infant sister. Then, she might soften her heart toward him a little. Perhaps ask a closer castle to foster him so that Robb could visit easily.

The babe gave a sudden kick and she let out a small sound. She turned her face from her husband's bastard. Catelyn could not forget the danger he posed to her children but perhaps the gods would be kind and bless her with enough sons he wouldn't be a danger, even if she lost Robb.

“Away with the two of you now. It is nearly time for dinner.”


End file.
